Jealousy can be a very difficult emotion to process. Whether it’s someone else buying a house when you can’t, or someone getting a promotion over you. Or your best friend getting married and starting a family when you just got out of yet another bad relationship. We can always see how others are supposedly succeeding over us. This can cause us a lot of hurt and pain, but it can also lead to clues on what we want out of life and how to go about getting it.
In my readings with my clients, I’m usually able to see both sides of the coin and to understand when my client might not be looking at a situation with proper perception and instead relying on being a victim, unable to control things in their own lives. I’ve listed below the best suggestions I’ve given my clients to help them cope in situations like these.
Perception Is Reality – All of the time how we see a situation will dictate how we feel about things. So if we see a situation with others getting what they want, and we can’t obtain that, we instantly feel bad about ourselves. Instead I say challenge the timeline and challenge the perception. First off do you know the whole story? Just speaking with someone for five minutes or seeing a Facebook post doesn’t mean you really know what’s going on behind the scenes. Are you educated on the issue? Do you really understand what is taking place and why it is happening? I encourage my clients at this stage to get out paper and pen or head to the computer and start to type out a timeline, think about why they feel the way they do, when did they start to feel that way, and what’s in their lives at this moment causing this. When you start to question your perception something funny happens, perception changes. Once your perception changes you can think differently, which will lead to different actions, and different situations.
Accept What You Can’t Change – It sucks to say this but we all weren’t born with the same circumstances in life, no life isn’t fair. Some of us were born to rich parents, others have great genetics, others have something else we didn’t get. It’s that “thing” we’ll always question, but we need not to. There are things you can change and things you can’t. You might not be able to change the fact that you don’t have rich relatives to give you the money you need to start a business, but that’s not the only way to get capital to start a business. Once you start to accept what you can and can’t change, you start to think of other solutions. Our brains are still the best super computers on the planet. You give it a problem and your brain wants to solve it for you, but you have to be open to the suggestions it provides. So try just sitting and accepting what is, allow your brain to start to come up with solutions to what it can change, not what it can’t.
Consistent Effort Over Time – There is something to be said for success, it follows a formula. It’s usually a strategy put in place that is successful over time. We hear it over and over again, just when the person thought to quit the business and pack it in, they get the success they are looking for. Or someone might stop trying to get into relationships and instead focus on the relationship with themselves, only to have their person show up and sweep them off their feet. You don’t have to run on the same energy everyday, and you might not have the same level of success every day, but the trick is to keep going. If you can run with it, do it. If you can’t run, walk, crawl, or do anything else to enact the actions you want for change. It will take time and you need to be patient, but patience doesn’t mean sitting around waiting for things to get better, it means having faith they will while helping the universe along by putting yourself out there with actions making it better.
This Too Shall Pass – Have you ever heard this saying before? Chances are you heard it because it is true. While we are fighting mentally kicking and screaming in the moment, it can be hard to envision a future where the problem is gone or a solution found. So the best thing you can do is be kind to yourself, remind yourself this too shall pass, and focus on the things you can do no matter how big or small. If you can make these changes you’ll be able to see things move more towards your favour and you’ll see things slowly start to improve so you get what you want.
When my clients shift their perspective and see others having what they want and acknowledging it as something they want too, it is easier to see it as a sign from the universe. I always say if it’s in your sphere you’re meant to hear. So remember if you are feeling jealous of what someone else has it’s because you want it and deserve it too – so change your perspective to go and get it!