How To Deal With Self-Doubt and Disappointment
We all struggle with this at one time or another. Sometimes we’re working through a project at work that is really taking a toll on our energy and self-esteem. Other times we can be trying to break a bad habit and we end up failing, then that self-doubt creeps in and we’re not even sure why we thought we could accomplish this goal in the first place.
When I read for my clients these feelings and thoughts constantly come into play with how they feel about themselves, and the situations they face when these feelings come up. I’ve written a few tips for how to best deal with these feelings in a positive manner so they don’t end up overwhelming you.
Get In Tune With You – The first thing I always note is that we feel these feelings intensely in our bodies first. So when you face that situation at work, or when you’re at a party and you don’t feel good enough just listen to how that feels in your body. Your body will give you a sense of not feeling at ease or tight or just not good, and you’ll be able to identify this as the source for why this is happening to you. The better you get at recognizing when these feelings come up the better you’ll get at handling them.
Learn To Put Things Into Perspective – This is where you can start to talk yourself off the ledge. Look, we all feel these feelings of self-doubt and disappointment. Even those who display a high-level of confidence can feel these feelings, the only difference is how they handle it either outwardly or inwardly. One thing I advise my clients to do is as soon as they recognize the feelings in their body, stop and take a few really deep breaths. Then once calmer, put things into perspective. Challenge these thoughts and make them less all or nothing and black and white, and instead find the grey. For example, maybe you bombed that job interview it doesn’t mean you’ll bomb every interview moving forward. Or maybe your last boyfriend dumped you, doesn’t mean everyone moving forward will. Challenge the glass always being empty, and see if you can get to a place of balance.
Sit In It – Sometimes just saying positive affirmations doesn’t help, and sometimes you’re not ready for this. So instead take the alternative approach. Instead, acknowledge things are not great right now. Acknowledge how it feels, and why it feels bad. But remind yourself this isn’t going to be forever, this too shall pass, and eventually the situation will change, so you just gotta get through the now – even though it sucks, and we know it does. Doing this helps remind us that there is a future, one we don’t know about yet and that future can be quite positive so just get through the now.
Look For Lessons – Always spirit is giving you circumstances and events to improve yourself, but you have to look for the lessons. It’s like a teacher in a classroom, if you don’t pay attention you won’t learn the material. So pay attention to what spirit is writing on the chalkboard, pay attention to the lessons you’re suppose to learn, and ask and meditate on how you can grow and learn from the experience you’re currently going through.
No one likes to go through negative things in life, it isn’t fun or fair. But it is necessary to have negative in our lives. If we didn’t have this we would have no view of balance and we wouldn’t be able to see the positive. Following the steps above can sometimes just help gain clarity on your situation, so you can make better choices moving forward.
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